The Birth of Erik – writing guide

Story Summary

The story of how Erik is chosen as the (wrong) messiah. How he makes his way into Don Schmoogle’s family to take over Schmoogle Inc.


  1. The dark hand have traced their messiah.
  2. “Sir we believe the stars have aligned – he’s been born!”
  3. They then begin to trace where he must be from the ancient records and expecting him to be from line of kings to their upset he appears to be through line of Ernie Smith the milkman in Olive Road. “Check this at once!” “Get me a photograph of that boy!” “But.. he’s be ginger!” (phrase repeated throughout book).
  4. Later they realise their genealogist is a drinker and has made one tiny mistake they all missed (some coordinates or something is back to front – or they mixed the ‘red hair’ prohecy). The real coming one was born
  5. Ernie scrawny average looking happy guy married to beautiful self cenrered Lyla (Lyla always wanted a rich guy but she fell for Ernie’s charm and is now regretting it)  – Low paid milkman – redundancy. Lyla does not want kids so Ernie gets her drunk one night and she has tripplets that ernie loves. “What am I we supposed to do with these!! on your wage!” “You’re supposed to look after them – be a mum!” “But I want a career!”
  6. dark hand say “we must get the child off them!” so devise ways to make his wife unhappy and break up their home.
  7. Dark Hand get a handsome hunk actor to move in opposite – who says he’s a doctor big car – Lyla falls for him. “What is my mission this week?” “We need you to make a local lady
  8. Ernie is suspicious and follows him in his milk van up silly cone mountain in wind and rain to where he goes to ‘work’ and finds a giant under ground complex run by the Dark Hand up silly Cone Mountain and he takes off his doctors jacket and goes under ground..
  9. she always berates him so when at home he’s a depressive out he’s life and soul
  10. She has nervous break down as the children are so badly behanced devil kids.
  11. he turns to drink and they start fighting
  12. social services take them away and they go to Dark Hand dungeon for a few weeks then schooled out in the middle east in the ancient langauges and arts and practices.
  13. ——–
  14. Meanwhile the dark hand have giant laboratories under silly cone mountain but the scoentists are incapable of creating anything good and are getting nowhere;  “The pain goes but it comes back six times worse sir”.”You stupid fools – you cant create any cure yourselves – only steel from others and create things that make people more sick. So you better get stealing proper;y then! It takes real brains of a genus like Donald Schmoogle. We want his Elixir. “Weve tried sir – but the creature dies even quicker.”
  15. a spy is sent to lure schmoogle into blackmailing Schmoogle. Also she has the task of looking for his secrets papers regarding the Elixir
  16. The spy finds the elixir and then gives to the dark hand who then
  17. The Dark Hand administer it to Erik who does not swallow it and spits it into the drain and a goats eats it.
  18. Finally Donald is offered the whole of Smallville if he will just use his chemistry knowledge for their ends (sorcery). He refuses so the make his life a misery
  19. CUT TO DONALD RUNNIG SCHMOOGLE INC (several years later).
  20. ——————-6 YEARS LATER———
  21. The Dark Hand
  22. eventually at the end – she realises Ernie was the best man in the world and falls in love with him
  23. The Dark Hand at the very end; “He wasn’t our coming one – he was… he was the milkman’s son!”
  24. ————————————–

The Spy actually gets pregnant as she falls in love with Schmoogle

So the dark hand have to say the baby was lost – but